It never ceases to amaze me of God’s intentionality! His vast love is limitless, relentless and boundless. Not tethered to our limited thinking or faith that at times can feels even smaller then a mustard seed.
He loves us… day in and day out,
in rain or sun,
in triumph or tragedy.
In our anger or in our joy,
in our questions, wavering doubts or fears.
He is not fazed by our weaknesses, outbursts or lack of faith.
He knows our frame, the number of hairs on our head, and what we will say before we have spoken it. Even in the midst of all our messiness His grace still points in our direction. Exuberant grace, glorious unmerited favor that can leave us speechless and oh so free with its gifting. Profound kindness that leads us to repentance at the very appearance of it touching our lives. Which leaves us questioning, “Who am I that deserves this kind of love and redemption?” With the deepest gratitude I weep at the magnitude of it all.
Each passing day becoming more acutely aware, quite frankly, I am left in awe of God’s love and attention to detail. A good portion of my wide eyed wonderment comes from my precious mentor Michelle, for over 35 years has taught me to see God in ways I had overlooked before. Now finding myself less likely of putting Him into a neat, little box where the God of the universe neither fits or belongs. His heart’s desire has always been for us to catch hold of His love, which is daily poured out into our lives in big and small ways. Allowing thankfulness and gratitude permission to flourish in our hearts pushing our borders of faith out into the wide open spaces.
Cultivating roots of trust that plunge deep into the rich soil, growing hearty, securely grounded in all His faithful promises; that are always a resounding yes and amen.
God’s gifts of intentionality, generosity, and creativity wrapped up in His lavish love.
This extravagant, multi faceted love got my attention this Christmas season.
As I began sorting through ornaments from my childhood and our children’s, slowly unearthing them from their slumber for our grandchildren to hang on the Christmas tree. How fun to see them through the fresh eyes of a child again. So many attic treasures, all laden with memories to uncover from the crumpled up tissue that they were cradled in. Though many intrigued them, others not so much, it’s safe to say some had definitely seen better days. One particularly lack luster decoration was my 55 year old Raggedy Ann doll, small, well worn and loved dearly. I love the story of how Raggedy Ann’s first originated, though the tales vary of who found her, one thing stays the same, she too was found in an attic forlorn, seemingly forgotten just like mine.
A few days went by before I sorted through the remaining ornaments that still laid in the box. Slowly pondering what was worthy of keeping I turned my gaze upon Raggedy Ann’s sad state of affairs and decided to bid her adieu placing her in the trash.
After purging the ornament box off I went to tackle the next item on my list, finding Christmas photos from 1976 to add to an original blog story I titled: “Christmas Eve Lights”. The Christmas Eve of 1976 had been a painful one, for it was the year my mom, brother and I convinced my dad we were going to look a Christmas lights, when in reality we were driving him to the Portland Sanitarium. This was all the result of him having a nervous breakdown.
Pouring through the album I soon arrived at where all the photo’s should’ve been. Once again painfully reminded that someone had removed the ones I was looking for. Emotions of sadness, anger and betrayal engulfed me once more. That deep, raw grief went way beyond those glossy prints that were taken from our family album.
The impact felt far greater as I peered at them through eyes of being the last surviving member of my immediate family. Feeling like one more link fell off a chain that connected me to the memories of my family.
A bevy of emotions resurfaced while sorrowfully looking at the photos that still remained. Please God heal my heart, help me forgive and be thankful for what I still had before me.
It was right then and there the Lord had me look even more closely at the faded picture of our wonky popcorn laced Christmas tree of 1976.
Lo and behold nestled in the branches was the little Raggedy Ann doll that now laid in the garbage beneath the kitchen sink.
Springing up suddenly I quickly rescued her out of her woeful state. Propping her up on my desk with tears in my eyes I told her, “thank you for being there for me all those years ago.” It sounds silly, I know. Even so, this brought me tremendous healing. Somehow I had become unaware of just how much my heart needed a hug from my Heavenly Father at that moment.
Through my poor woebegone Raggedy Ann who was dusty, well worn, shabby without the chic.. This little darling had gloriously brought me comfort not only that day, but as a child as well. Her gentle unassuming way spoke volumes to my heart. She was perfectly imperfect, an anchor of hope for brighter, simpler days. A gift straight from God, in the most whimsical package.
When I think of the creator of Raggedy Ann... Johnny Gruelle big dreams for a faceless rag doll from the attic, he was looking beyond her appearance and circumstances. Confident she had stories to tell that would delight his daughter….and that she did, right along with countless other children!
It reminds me of the goodness of God, seeing destiny from dust, purposes and plans birthed in the most unlikely places.
God intentional love is on full display in you and me whether we can see it or not. If by chance you doubt it for a brief moment, I know a delightful 55 year old friend that has quite a story to tell, that I’m sure will convince you other wise!
“The truest friend are those who feel
They love you best for being real.”
Raggedy Ann - Johnny Gruelle,
“When we give to another we never know how long the chain of kindness will grow. Raggedy Ann - Johnny Gruelle,
“My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!”
I John 4:11-12 MSG
Photo of me on my 13th birthday with my bigger Raggedy Ann doll.